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xxstephxxx
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Name: Steph
Birthday: 11/27/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Things I love Are: *Swimming* the Mall* Dancing*Concerts* Hanging at Cool Beans* the Bowling Alley* Movies*Skateboarding* TV*Computer*Eye liner* Make up* black*red*Shoes*Taking pictures* guys*romance* music* rain*summer* pizza *chicken *chatting* Meeting new people*vampires*emo*poem writing* singing* hanging with friends*making friends*hugs* making people mad* making out with hot people* teasing people* annoying people*Laughing* Getting hyper* Mt. Dew* Playstation* country boys* rap* rock* metal* death metal* tattoos*and piercings*
Expertise: Computers*Photography*Writing Poems*Hair/Makeup*Modeling*Web page Design* Troubleshooting*Desktop Publishing*Hacking*Cooking
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
6/28/2006
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| I hope I get to see Billy today finally. I hate looking up to something and getting my hopes up & then it don't happen. That really sucks. Hes coming to my house yay! I can't wait to see him again, I feel like I have been waitng forever. I don't get it I used to be so impatient. But now I have a lot of patience, thats a good thing though. I noticed that everytime I pray for something my prayers are answered. God helped me learn patience like I asked him. When I was single I was miserable. I told god I wanted someone I could talk to anytime about anything and that would be interested in listening, I wanted someone really nice, cute, someone that would take care of me. I was done with feeling like I was the guy in the relationships, cuz in my last one I made all the choices. I hated that, I like choices to be equal. That way we are both doing what we wanna do. Also I wanted someone that could make me laugh and keep me smiling even through hard times and most of all someone that I can trust with my heart. He gave me Billy:) Billy is all the things in a guy I have ever wanted. God has finally led me in the right direction this time! At first I was thinking wow, this is too good to be true. But it really actully happened and for that I'm thankful. This is the one this time. I never want to let him go. I am his and his alone. | | |
| Billy wrote me another letter today. He sounded so sad! I feel bad for him being locked up in there. I am really worried about him. It makes me sad thinking about it. I really wish I could talk to him and cheer him up. Why does the last week have to go so slow? It sucks so bad. It is because I am waiting. The thing that surprized me is when he said I don't even like vampires right now. I was like ummm thats weird.That is a bit strange. I hope he is okay in there I tryed to call his mom and his sister but no one answered. I wanted to ask his mom how he was doing. I have not talked to him on the phone since Sunday. God I miss him so much I am going crazy. I am just worried about him. I wish I could just hear his voice and id be happy. I am hurting inside...no one knows how much...grrr its going to be a hard three days. But I will be there when he gets out of there. HE IS GONE AND I CANT THINK STRAIGHT, MY MIND IS NOT HERE. When hes out I am going to be happy again.
The day I gave him up to go to jail I was sad but the longer the worse I feel. 4 more days..help me through this god! GOD HELP ME. I MISS HIM SOOOOO SOOO MUCH. Billy I love you. I can't wait midnight on the 23rd. I will have my Billy in my arms! You better believe I'll be there baby:) I MISS HIM 1 MONTH 1 WEEK 2 DAYS!! BILLY & STEPH FOREVER | | |
| Today was pretty fun. I went and saw What Happens in Vegas with my sister. It was really good. I am starting to get homesick. There is nothing to do here. It is so boring for me all there is to do is get online on my laptop. It is boring as heck. It is going to be a long week. I am stuck up here in Macedonia, Ohio at my aunts. I wish I would have went home. I am having fun but at the same time I miss being home. The thing that is annoying is really no privacy. There is always someone around. There is no dark place with a lock to escape to except the bathroom. I have been eating a lot while I have been here. My sister feeds me to much. I am going to gain 20 lbs by Friday. I am going to be ripping the hair out of my head by Friday. I cried today thinking about Billy I niss him so much. I feel so disconnected from my world while im here. I get to stay in a mansion for a week with 10 dogs!! I hate dogs constantly barking..grrr. It is soooo annoying. I am so glad we do not have any at home. I am suppose to go play mini golf later with my sis.. I really miss being home:( | | |
| Well today, I got up at 12:00 P.M. I stayed up till 4:30 A.M. last night. I tryed to sleep but I could not. There was a fly in my window. It was driving me crazy. I finally got up and hunted it down and killed it with bug spray. I got on the computer for a little bit, than I made some coffee. After I was awake I went for a walk. I got totally burnt. I am as red as a lobster. I am in a little bit of pain. I am going to start going for walks everyday I can though. I love going for walks. I prefer walking at night more though, up to the cemetary. That way I do not get burnt to a crisp. I need to lose about twenty more pounds. I have lost twenty since Christmas which is good. I just need to cut down on junk food. Although I do not believe in diets anymore. They have never worked for me. I miss my Billy. He will be out in 18 more days.I can not wait I want to be there when he gets out. Today I have big plans that I need to do. All I have really done so far is messed around on the computer besides talking a walk and getting a shower. What I need to do later is clean this house, write Billy a letter back, and fill out the rest of my applications. The computer is so addictive. I can not help but be on it constanly. I have a lazy tendancy too..I hate lazyness but I can not really help it. Billy is suppose to call in like ten minutes..yay!! I got his letter today, it was so sweet. It is so great to hear from him. I guess I will talk to Billy than get the rest of my work done. I really need to get the stuff done today. Hopefully I get unlazy and do it all..I really need to get myself a job so i can see Billy more! grrr well thats all for now.. | | |
| Today went alright but then things started going down hill. I went to my 4-H bake sale today and brought my brownies. After that I went to Walmart to meet this girl Kayla I have been friends with for so long. I missed her by like a half hour. She left a half hour before I got there cuz her grandpa would not let her wait for me. I waited for a half hour than left. I was bored so I went down to Paul Jr's my boyfriends cousins house, cuz I am friends with everyone down there. I went down in the basement to hang out with Paul Jr. and his brother John. I saw Zach Savage Billy's other cousin was down there too. I was like whats up Zach guess who I about saw today. I was all like Kayla Cline. Hes all like I know where her grandpa lives. I was like I brought my car lets go see her. So we jumped in the car to go see her. I met her grandpa he was really nice. She was really cool. So I asked her grandpa if she could hang out with me at Paul jr's house and her grandpa agreed. Zach got into the back seat and me and Kayla were sitting in the front seat. We got there at Paul Jr's house. Billy's mom Ruth was standing on the porch. She said I need to talk to you about something. She pulled me to the side. She was like " Myself and Paul (Billy's Uncle) Don't think you should not come over anymore without Billy, I don't want you with other boys when Billy is not around". She was angry about Zach being in my car. I am not going to ever ever ever cheat on my Billy I love him!!! He is the one. I never want to lose him. I told his mother that we went to get Kayla, shes like "still... don't have any guys in the car with you." Billy's mom does not like Zach at all. Then after that she said she heard things about me. She said that she had heard that I slept with 29 guys and lost four kids or I had an abortion, and I gave some dude STDS or something. I dated Shawn Mikes for almost a year and I dated Kevin for a year and a half. Those are the only people I have ever done anything with. I am not the type of girl that is going to sleep with everyone in town. Coty Richmond's cousin started all the rumors about me. The thing is I have never even met the guy I do not even know him. Coty went to Buckeye Trail with me. I was the most hated person at Buckeye Trail. I cryed everyday when I went there. People made fun of me everyday. I got myself out of that hell. I went to Mid-East Buffalo Campus where I am the president of BPA, part of the yearbook staff, in NHS, and Secretary of Student Councel. I feel like I truely belong there. So if people hear rumors about me from people that go to Buckeye Trail ignore them. People from Buckeye Trail are idiots. I would not care if the school got blown up, with all the heartless bastards that attend that school.
I really do not deserve to be treated like trash, I do not deserve that kind of treatment. But I'm over it.
As long as I still got my Billy, I am happy! I miss him so much today was a day from HELL!
I got lost on the freeway coming home, so I was late again! I also had to stop for gas because I was about out. Luckily Kayla gave me gas money. I felt sooo bad when I got home. I looked at the caller id seeing that Billy called. Yesterday I was late getting home too. I told him to give me a call at 4:00. I did not geet in until 4:15.
Billy called at 4:06 PM....I missed him by 9 minutes. I freaking started crying sooo hard saying I was the worst girlfriend ever!! I was late to days in a row. I felt really bad. I got to talk to him at 5:00 PM. I told him everything. He told me to stop crying for me and I did. I called his mom and talked to her. I thought she did not trust me and she told me she did. I'm glad that everything is okay. I dont want to lose him. Soo, I am happy that I get to see him tomorrow. 11:00 PM HELL CONTINUED!! Well I thought it was over after Billy gave me a call. Mary big Paul's Girlfriend calls me at 10:30-11:00 and says "Do you know Billy's Password." I was all like why whats wrong? Shes like someone called my cell from a private number saying someone was writing stuff on his myspace. I got on his myspace. His recent log on still said yesterdays date, so I knew no one logged in to tamper with it! Freaking bitches trying to break us up majorly. Someone must hate me or be really jealous. I love Billy..people don't understand..hes my everything. What is so wrong with us being together? Well people are assholes! Go to hell people that don't like it! | | |
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